my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymoreUncategorized

My first wife and I married when we were 21. Sigh I dont even want to see anyone else. I started seeing sex workers. Women fall in love with their husbands have kids and having kids taking care of the kids 99.99% and working full time or taking some class to better your job. Fully. All the way. Some are related to the pressures and demands of family life. We might as well bring up the time tested alternative. I honestly dont know what happens to men as they age. That is love. Dont men throb? Absolutely! But you cant fix a problem if you dont know the cause. I so desired to be held, touched, kissed deeply and often, all the things that love should be about, but it wasnt to be. However, if the unfortunate situation arises where your wife never initiates physical contact because shes having an affair, you need to deal with it gently. I refuse to live out my life not feeling special. She is a vegetarian and a purist in many ways, rejecting hormone therapy because of the published risks of breast cancer associated with hormone therapy, though small, my doctor stated. What is the point of being married if there is no intimacy? There are many reasons for vaginal pain, if indeed thats what shes experiencing, and getting the right medical help is essential. Living alone would reduce frustration of a non-response. We dont understand anything about foreplay or romance. He is older than I am but even when we were younger, he was like that. I love my wife dearly after 52 years and great grandchildren I would have my junk removed before I hurt my family and our long marriage is a point of great pride and example for these people God allowed us to have in our lives. So, heres what I did. Just give him some and hopefully he will stop keeping you awake. I love him and still desire him (even though he lost his hair and gained a gut!!) People get lazy and just expect sex to happen because theyre married. I know at times shes felt my touching was just for sex, and at times she was right. This is a huge problem, how can I live with someone who feels this way? I think it is very selfish. Divorce? Addie If thats the reason why your wife avoids intimacy, you have to drive home the importance of intimacy between a couple for a happy, healthy marriage. If shes willing, find a therapist who will help you and your wife talk about this and really listen to each otherand if she wont go, go on your own. To some it may even taste nasty. You cant really blame her, can you? Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. I have the same problem I love my wife but I need sex. If you think your wife avoids intimacy because of an underlying condition, its best to seek medical help at the earliest. Maybe it will make a difference, good luck. Better than NO sex of any sort for 10+ years, and being rediculed for masturbating. Ive been married to my husband for 35 + years to an indifferent withholder for the entire marriage. For a woman, as she ages, she needs time to get into that sexual mindset and anticipation is a great aphrodisiac. Same here except I m 75 he is 80. But, here we are with 13 grandchildren from the strong marriages of our 9 surviving children. Fix for this is just deal with it and do your own thing, or just leave. You can usually put these triggering events into two main categories. She started the menopause change about 3 years ago, however sex prior to that was maybe every few months for probably 7 years. My nephews, 1x/month on average, so I dont over do with outside the marriage things at all nor overspend, AT ALL. I could do as well financially as a single person and there are women who would be happy with what I can provide, both financially and intimately. Im mid 50s married man who has ED and low T. I have always had a lower desire. Be gentle and calm when you bring it up. In fact, I dont even feel were friends at this point, as we rarely speak to one another (unless I initiate a conversation) and whenever I try and initiate any affection or even merely suggest sex, he bristles, becomes hostile and defensive and thats that. mine forgot my birthday this year (it is 2 days before his lol) and our wedding anniversary : ( I can not compete with his online game omg he plays 24-7 so I can relate to your problem with your wife choosing the phone over you thats cold. She needs you to see the world from her eyes and to understand her perspective. Many men and most women are connected through sexual intimacy. It sounds like there are many many committed marriages but seemingly to unwise and probably unloving spouses. Although he acts like he doesnt notice and maybe he dont. Without this love, there isn't much for the relationship to stand on. Once the women have these needs fulfilled the sexual desire for the man that gave them all the things they desired goes away. Youre not alone. For many of us, male and female, the virtue of sex resides in the shared experience. You take care of you! A woman needs to hear that over and over again, or else she will think that you don't love her anymore (it's contrary to most men, who can be told a thing once and. When I say intimacy, I do not mean just intercourse. Hormonal changes, which can start as early as your 20s, can also be root causes of low sex drive. Denied the enjoyment, should they be expected to put the same effort into the preparation? So when your wife seems to frequently push you away and demonstrates through her words or actions that she has no interest in making love with you, this behavior is usually caused by a one or more triggering events. Right now Im going on over three months since shes wanted sex. He expects lunch and dinner to be made for him every day, He drinks beer by the gallon and he gives nothing to this marriage. I have the same problem, my wife and I are 73 years old, 7years ago she told me she no longer had an interest in sex, so,it has been 7 dry years, she told me I was free to,find someone to have sexy with!! It seems a waste in the end. Both 39 years oldI just suffer in silence. I have not had an affair because, well, thats just not me. Divorced quickly. Regardless of the reason your wife has pulled away from you, you must confront the situation. I have tried to keep myself in shape, etc., and he is certainly in fairly good shape too. My wife and I have been a couple for 51 years (since 1971). I like cuddling. And please dont tell me counseling. I dont care what age this happens to a man, somehow the blame goes to the woman for not looking her best,gaining weight, busy with the kids, not willing to give oral sex and the list goes on and on. I have never been a man so I cannot empathize with a man. But just remember, mature willing women are unicorns. Some women have no idea of how belittled this makes a man feel, and its not just a matter of getting our rocks off since we can do that ourselves. Sadly that BIG thing was Give Up Sex and just get over it. I think the resolve here is to tell the parent who is confiding in you to seek professional help, and then bud out. Like, whats wrong with me? Most dont ever have this figured out. I dont have a problem with a sexless marriage, in fact I created it in our marriage. At least your wife gives you a hand job AND wants you to Cum on her tits! That's part of it, but in long-term relationships, sex is also the fastest route for a man to feel close and connected to his wife. Im just sad and trying to figure things out. Anyway, I was so turned on by this guy (in love too)that just seeing him or us simply hugging was a major Turn-On. I have given up trying since the rejections and sometimes total indifference is devastating. Therefore, building and maintaining an emotional rapport is extremely essential not just for a robust sex life but also for the overall health of the relationship. I am dry (we tried lubricant) and hes small (always been, but seems more so in his 60s) and he doesnt get or stay very hard at all. We are both in our Sixties now and have been married for over 35 years and apart for a few occasions, birthdays etc my wife just hasnt been interested. Its always whatever you want then she lays there kind of tense. So, your wife has told you that her ex didn't treat her that well, yet she chased him. Its not all about sex its about intimacy, and that is missing. Since abstinence for so long Im wondering what will happen if a woman takes an interest in a 70-year-old man. Sounds like you should try therapy. Does Thunderbird mean anything to you? You risk losing it all for the same quick minute that you already have with your wife. I remember when certain words did the trick. Every month in Sex at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. for signs she is interested in someone else. Feel like I have him a lifetime!!! Even if you have something as small as a minor headache or you cut yourself while cooking, a loving wife will always be ready to pounce and get the first aid kit. My career came to a halt after my illness, due to a stigma related to my heart problems and brain surgery. Hello Will, I desire foreplay and intimacy, not just intercourse. Its a shame when a marriage reaches this point because so much of both people were invested in it at the beginning and for quite a while. Married 50years and our sex life never really got going. This is relevant for anyone with anxiety about their body (which, unfortunately, is true for the vast majority of women), but it may be particularly relevant for women as they age, go through childbirth, or simply experience changes to their body over time. If your wife feels less overburdened with household responsibilitiesand sees you making an active effort to take on your share of the loadyou might find she has more time, energy, and interest in sex. Read the first sentence again. I realize that I really dont know your reasons for not wanting to be sexual with me whether it hurts you, or theres something Im doing or not doing. Our experts helped them improve their sex life by advising a bit more spontaneity. Get your answer. Its not worth the stress. You both shatter into a million pieces, and when you emerge from the depths of pain for air, you find that though you are still in love with each other, nothing will ever be the same again. 2009 - 2023 MindBodyGreen LLC. Sorry Mate. Have you considered opening your relationship or swinging together? He had at least 9 different jobs, years of unemployment with me working overtime 12 hrs night shifts (RN here). She had a hysterectomy years ago do to cancer concerns, about 5 years ago she had a stroke like episode but there where no signs of actual stroke damage and she had started botox/steroid therapy in her spinal column for pain issues so there is suspicion that caused it, but because of a possible stroke they wont give estrogen. The wife was boring and I had to follow so many rules and regulations when it came to sleeping and sex together. My husband became disabled and had to quit his job. In my experience as a marriage counselor, Ive seen that men can have an argument with their wives the whole day and romance their partner in the end. That way both of our sex drive would be fairly low Im a good looking hard-working big hearted man and I immediately told her you better well I dont wanna hurt you. Were you on a low dose of estrogen by mouth. I hope that she too will woo me, always, as well. Wooing is a life-long endeavor. My (50m) wife (48f) and I had a great sexual relationship for most of our marriage. Prostitutes are not a good option since all the bad stuff in the sex industry world and I feel that I am too old to move on and I am not a chick magnet. I still plan/need to continue working in a high tech job many hours a week, with excellent insurance, which is fortunate, and there is no way she can drive or work for several decades now. Even with some ED we can still have a good orgasm..but she wont even touch me.. Im not a bad looking guy, and tend to her needs materially.. but sex is off the table. Or when she does get in the mood again 45 minutes to get hard and going and he is done like always within a minute and he rolls over and goes to sleep. . I just dont understand. Step out of your own hurt feelings and into her world. I set up a Revenge cheat. 90% of my enjoyment of sex is seeing her turned on an having a rip roaring time. Some persons who are older like us end up this way. Weve all heard the answer to no Sex is stop having Sex? There is a limit to everything and this crosses that line. Bonnie, thank you for commenting. It's possible that you and your wife simply have different needs when it comes to sex. She tricked me, I fell in love, we have 4 grown awesome me, the model relationship in our large family. You are so right, I should leave but feel guilty, leaving over sex. You cannot force desire no matter what you do or if it is the other partner, same thing. Do we risk our grown children finding out and not understanding? Is it honestly your right to be given sex however your wife can give it? 18 months later I was told NO sex, by the way we had not had regular sex for near 15 years, and Sexless for near 10. Plus, a lack of communication might have created this distance. I worked my butt of the keep a sexless marriage away. She has absolutely no interest in it. Honey I can assure you 100% hes not doing without sex hes at the prime age to have sex I couldnt tell you why he didnt wanna have sex with you but Im going through the same thing with my wife. Even with all the gadgets and hired help, modern women have a lot on their plate. Welcome to, IMO, male divine right. Shes just not attracted to me and personally, Im not sure she ever was. I dont look my age at all! Hello Mary I can imagine how frustrating it it is for you.I am 65 years old and my wife is 64.My wife is on anti-depressants and she says that she has no desire for sex We have been married for 44 years now.I last had sex about 8 years ago My wife is a very beautiful woman and I am absolutely so frustrated and find that looking at porn and mastubating is not ideal anymore, What I need is a woman, but I am afraid to approach another woman for sex for the fear of rejection, I do not want to have sex with a prostitute. So our talking about this topic usually ends up in an argument or one of us so ticked off we could scream. All this can cause a person to go into anger and hibernate. A lack of emotional connection can make it hard for women to establish physical intimacy, even with their own life partner. I offered my husband a quick and easy as possible divorce. Its been over three months since weve had sex. I have tried internet sex and it wasnt bad but it wasnt enough. When your partner wont touch you, its important to take a look at any mental health issues that may be affecting them. In such cases, it is imperative to get the right kind of help and hold your wifes hand through this extremely challenging journey. Will not do anything about it.. Refuses everything and anything to do with sex. Not the husband its always the mom. Then we got married and had kids (not that I regret) but 20 years of pulling teeth juts to get touched or even desired really hurts. my dad still wants to have sex but my mom is too tired and no longer comfortable with sex. 80s, are victims of the same injustice and gender paradigms you are experiencing. You should consider a strap on dildo, the size and width are your choice. The health setback added to a divorce and two children to support has made life difficult. It is not the loss of testicles as much as the loss of the prostate gland. There are always two sides to a story, and I dont want to paint her as an uncaring wife. I actually considered early in my marriage that my husband might lean toward being gay and thats why he was somewhat uncomfortable having sex with me. The phone started beeping and making its different sounds at 630am. Is it me or does it seem like sex therapists and experts are lacking, some seem hedonistic? From work deadlines to zoom meetings to bosses to deal with, teams to manage, kids to raise, meals to cook, chores to do, errands to run and the billion other things your wife has to handle, she may just be too exhausted to even think about sex. Showing discomfort is a telltale sign that your wife isn't taking foreplay positively. Im 54 and my husband and I enjoy each others company but he does not want to engage in physical affection or intimacy. Oh my goodness you sound so defeated. In such a case, it could be the reason why your wife avoids intimacy. He worked constantly on the mid night shift away from me. 2. We know right form wrong. Post-menopausal sex, for many women, is a meal offering little flavour or nutrition. I love her but I need/miss sexual relations, which she's not into. I dont clean enough, cook enough, keep on top of appointments, follow his assignments since youre retired now, you can do and I get assignments. My wife and I are celebrating 48 years together in January. I am 64 now and have had some vaginal atrophy, which made penetration hurt, but I take a vaginal pill twice a week. I made the decision that I would just say screw it and NOT think about sex at all. I cant do that, divorce right away. Or simplify it by bringing home her favorite wine and dining on your patio after the kids are in bed. Yes, totally wrong. So its a trope that the man is always the one with the higher desire and the one left frustrated. Divorce isnt either Im not ever going to hurt her. After 8.5 years in my sexless marriage, I almost found the phrase Youve both gone so long without sex together funny, though it is far from that. We are happy for the days she has some energy and good enough oxygen levels. Really its happening with many couples as the year goes and children born the interest goes down. Another reason "my wife never initiates physical contact" may be due to hormonal changes. Signs My Husband Isn't Attracted To Me - He Rejects Your Hugs, Kisses, And Touch. may have led to years of unsatisfying sex, and the longer youre together, the more nervous she may be to bring it up. With a lot of talk and communication, we have made peace with our sex life. Our sex life slowed, separated, and each found partners. I brought this up in premarital counseling. It pains Mike and me to hear that women can suffer this way too. 2 weeks later I spoke to her again and ended up asking if she knew what I was suggesting. I am 60, and my husband is 65. Amen. And the source of so many sleepless nights is that person who promised to love and honor us until death dobus part and who still possess a mouth and fingers and the ability to do just that. Find someone who finds you attractive, become more attractive, get in shape (thats key). In the room. I hope to eventually meet another same sex partner willing to take her time and see what works. Your children can/will respect only what they see and experience. If his wife refuses to explore solutions he will need to tell her the following. Withholding sex as punishment is hostile you deserve better. You need to know. * THE SECTION BELOW TO INSERT DYNAMIC VALUES FROM YOUR Its important to understand the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire. Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy go hand in hand. It is an axiom of mate selection in nature that males display and females choose. These promises went on for three years and sex dwindled to once a week, once a month then stopped altogether. She wanted me to be sexual with her, but would not reciprocate. My husband will not have sex with me anymore. Males are not embarrassed about describing a frigid or non sexual wife, but they will never mention their own lack of desire and often get angry if their partner inquires as to why? That has been HER normal. There is no hope for this relationship. Only your wife herself can tell you the exact reason why she's not interested in having sex with you. We are wired so differently. Without the energy of wooing, the fear of missing out if we do not woo, we fall into complacency and boredom. Research shows that sexual communication was. We married late, were both 40, and our sex life was fantastic. Thats not going to make you happy in the long run!!! My other half sees it as rejection and makes angry threats. Its not always the woman who has no interest. Ive tried vacations, dates, sex toys, lubricants, vitamins, blah blah blah..when a gal is not sexually attracted to you and is generally more than willing to never have sex again cuz (insert the reason I dont understand here) shes not going to change at 70. I would leave and strive to take care of her financial needs until she is able to take care of herself or meets a man her age or older who is happy as a roommate. My functioning would be fine when engaging in sex with a woman for the first time, paid sex, and one night stands. She needs someone to act as a buffer, to provide support and not make it seem like shes in it alone. Please go find someone else to enjoy sex with if you can. That partner has truly not kept theur vow, but have managed to put us in a moral quandary. Outwardly to friends he seems a good husband, and he is BUT he will not have sex as he dies not fancy me anymore! Tried Testosterone replacement but it made me very sick and ended up in the emergency room with complications . Nothing physical. If your wife thinks she may have vaginal atrophy, I hope shell see a knowledgeable doctor or pelvic floor therapist to get a diagnosis and treatment plan that can alleviate her discomfort. Ed if your still out there I have the same view as you do on the phone and web. I ask why she said it is just how it is. I never cared about sex when I was 35 or now at 76! If you are tired of initiating intimacy and are concerned that my wife wont touch me sexually, youre not alone. I am utterly fed up with being in the friend zone or occasionally doing it with what might as well be a sack of potatoes. What to do about it: "You need to take the stress out of sex in three steps: Challenge your expectations, communicate effectively with your partner, and take the pressure off by using new physical experiences," Zimmerman advises. I think it was William Shakespeare who pondered what an irony it was that desire usually so outlasts ability. Dear, dear men, why is he grumpy? What to do about it: Make sure your wife has some time to herself to relax and feel restored. Gopa explains how such mental health issues can affect your physical intimacy. Some get away with a happy one. My husband and I are working on these issues now, and it takes some serious ,painful discussion. Bob, my wife is the same way, says she feels bad she has zero interest in sex, but doesnt offer anything like oral or HJ either. Sigh . I cant make the same wages I did before my illness, but added to my retirement money, it can get close. 30 years I kept saying to myself.itll get better Now I have ED. And sadly that is not my situation. Yeah. It is not fair that I have to take care of it by myself! You were something new, mysterious, independently confident, self-respecting, self-motivated and unpredictable. I am now dating a man in his 60s, I also am in my 60s and he cant get erection so he shut down any sexual contact and I am dieing for a sexual relationship. Life is definitely funny. Sorry. That was almost 50 years ago, I dont live in he house with her. If I spend time or money on them, I get ridiculed. This is sad. I cant hurt her, no way! If that's true for your marriage, your wife may be holding onto some resentment over the imbalance. She has owned her own retail furniture store for 10 years and has expressed her desire to sell and get a job until retirement. Im only 63 and Ive pretty much just given up. If your wife is pregnant or has had a baby in the last year, it could be a mix of pure exhaustion and wild hormones that are causing her libido to be off kilter. Moeller High School Hall Of Fame, Was Jack Draper Vaccinated, Keddie Murders Survivors, How To Customize Clearvision Discord, Fred Williams Dirt Every Day Wife, Articles M

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